Join Isabel Romero as she shares her journey in health, fitness and mental wellness. Her goal is to serve as an inspiration to others by helping all her readers achieve their personal best.
I ran into a friend today at the gym. I had not seen her in a few months. She looked at me and said “I’ve heard about everything you have gone through… and I can’t believe how happy you look!” Yes, it’s true, I have had a rough year. Starting with my friend’s death last February and spiraling down to physical issues with my spine, not being able to work, and divorce. But does that mean I need to be constantly depressed? Heck no. Do people really expect me to walk around looking and feeling like a basket case? Strangely enough, I think that’s what people expect. In January, one of my friends who has already been through divorce tried to “counsel” me and warn me that I’m pretty much going to be a mess and emotionally screwed up for a while. I found it kind of ridiculous. Everyone’s experience is different, and the way in which people handle those experiences is different. And because I’m “okay”, then perhaps in the mind of many, I may be heartless or just not care. Well, I can assure you that neither is true. Yes, of course, the hand (or rather, many hands) which I have been dealt this past year suck. No doubt. Of course I feel it. But at the same time, being stuck in sadness accomplishes nothing.
You should always make the most out of every situation in life, because frankly, things could always be much worse. Your outlook on life is completely within YOUR control. It is purely your decision how you carry yourself…how you feel…how you make the most of your life. Way too many people in this world blame their misery on everyone and everybody else. No! Your misery is created in your own mind. No matter how badly you think you have it, trust me, you are probably more blessed than you think. I have a friend who has battled cancer for years now, a close friend who already died of cancer at a very young age, another friend who died in a motorcycle accident. I have a friend who lost both parents by the time she was 30 years old, a friend who has lived through a very abusive relationship and another friend who died on the table in the hospital giving birth to her 4th child. And let’s not even get into what people have to go through around this immensely crazy world. I AM LUCKY. I AM BLESSED. And so are you.
I think the problem that most people have is that they live in the past. Regrets flood our mind. We resent people or situations which have caused us pain in the past. And we carry those bad situations–that pain–with us into the future. I myself am guilty of this. Or at least, I used to be. What does that do for us anyways? Nothing. Holding on to “what ifs” or “I should haves” only consumes your mental and emotional state. Practice forgiving. Practice forgetting. Practice letting it go. I know all too well how hard this is to do, as I used to spend most of my life regretting the most menial things. By allowing your mind to live in this dark place, you gain nothing but more sorrow. If your mind and heart are consumed by these things, there is no empty space within you for good things…for growth…for emotional happiness. Holding on to negative thought patterns can hold you back from finding something in your life that could be amazing and make you happy. Trying to control the future has a very similar result. It takes away your ability to enjoy the NOW. To live for the NOW. To make decisions for the NOW.
Today, focus on the positive. Be happy.
Just my two cents.
Peace, love and happiness.