Join Isabel Romero as she shares her journey in health, fitness and mental wellness. Her goal is to serve as an inspiration to others by helping all her readers achieve their personal best.
SLAVE: A Person who is strongly influenced and controlled by something.
Today I took the kids out for frozen yogurt as a Friday treat. While the boys happily overflowed their cups with mountains of sugar, Bella hung back, anxiously awaiting the decisions of her peers. “But Bella, you can get anything you want”, I confidently said. She pulled me down to whisper in my ear. “Mom. If I copy what the girls are getting, they’ll be my friend”. Oh, poor Bella, already enslaved to sacrificing her own desires to fit in. AND SHE’S ONLY 6!!!! She has been demonstrating these insecurities since she could talk. Is it just her personality? Have I done something wrong to make her insecure? Or are girls just mean?
I can’t help but to be a slave to the endless guilt of being a parent, teacher, friend, wife, and daughter. Have I done enough? What can I do more? The mental exhaustion of always pleasing others creates physical exhaustion as well.
Years ago, I suffered from an eating disorder. I believe, along with extremely stressful life events, my bulimia was a source of control. I even questioned myself then. I wanted to please. And if I couldn’t please, I would suffer. I was a slave to myself. My ED (eating disorder) consumed every minute of every day. If I wasn’t obsessing over not eating, I was obsessing over what to eat and then the guilt of what I ate. The complete consumption impeded on my ability to do exactly what I was concerned about doing-pleasing others. The thing is, I didn’t know I was a SLAVE. My endless self-deprecating talk was in itself self-abusive. It was no one’s fault. I own it now. After years of therapy I now recognize my own voice. I know now when I am speaking unkindly to myself. It took endless hours of retraining myself to speak kindly. Now I can give to others fully because I am fully free. See, until I realized I was a slave, no one could set me free.
What or who are you enslaved to? How can you set yourself free?
With love health and peace, until next time.